The Mystics May Be Here, But Are Crypto's Cards in Reverse?

Bailey Reutzel

4 hours ago

There's a man and a woman dancing beneath a lush wreath held up by four wands, crystals protruding from their tops.

"It's a good card to pull."

The Four of Wands.

In front of me - my life - there's good times, happiness, good fortune.

Reading from an online tarot card symbology site, my friend and tonight my forecaster says, "If you have been working on a project, this card indicates you will reach an important milestone and will have cause to celebrate. You have completed a significant phase of the project and can feel very proud of what you have accomplished so far."

She continues:

"A vision beginning to be realized."

Who knew my time living around a bunch of "witches" in Colorado would parlay so well into my time in cryptocurrency today?

When asked about the hand:shake pre-ICO launch party - where delights included face painting, a palm reader and some mysterious "restoration" practice called Jaguar Awakening - a woman working the event said, "It was offensively lavish and not very smart."

Harsh. Not unbelievable.

There were nerds and anarchists and conspiracy theorists in cryptocurrency not but a year ago. They're still here, of course. But they've been drowned out recently by the hippies and spirituals and soothsayers.

And they're quite like the psychics I saw in Colorado, living in small cluttered apartments with hundreds of little vials of oils - pine needles and rose buds and seeds soaking in the mixture - filling the cabinets, whose doors are kept open.

Everything is for sale, but not because they want to sell it, but because if you're suffering from anxiety, depression, a broken heart even, the oils can soothe whatever ails you.

There's no harm in a $40 bottle of olive oil mixed with cinnamon and eucalyptus, just like there's no harm in the 10 cent private key these new age prophets are slinging.

Slinging by the millions.

So what? What a deal. The industry says they'll be worth more than that bottle of oil at some point, and not only worth more by price but have a utility you'll want in your future digital life.

Maybe I will. Maybe you will. Maybe A16z will.

There is a problem, though.

Another friend of mine, a tarot reader told her she would get married by 23. Six months before that birthday, she had no boyfriend, no prospects even and was freaking out. Those words ate at her.

"What if I missed it?"

She had to see another reader.

Drunkenly the next night, we stumbled into a basement shop, a small neon light in the window, blinking the words.

It wasn't tarot, but palmistry.

But her palms, they had no such ideas of marriage at such a ripe young age. Instead, they spelled out adventure and travel and big changes.

All was well.